I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize