Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
It's just like the Real World with babies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
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