May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize