i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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