Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
you're hired as official boob wrangler
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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