WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
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Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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