It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
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