he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
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The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
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Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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