Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize