i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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