I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
What did we do last night that was yellow?
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
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