What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize