I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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