If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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