I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
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