I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
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