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um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
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