I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
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