So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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