I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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