I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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