if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize