Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
he had hair everywhere except his balls
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Holy shit dude........stairs
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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