plz talk dirty to me
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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