did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize