If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
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I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
you had me at cake vodka
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
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I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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