Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
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You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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