What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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