They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
So squirting runs in the family.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize