someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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