I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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