He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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