Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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