I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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