If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
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