Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
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