Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
He is an equal opportunity slut.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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