Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
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It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
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That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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