If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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