dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize