Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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