How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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