I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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