Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
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