We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
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this boner is exhausting
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
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Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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