you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize