She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
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I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
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