i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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