she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Randomize