my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize