bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
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the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
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We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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